Friday Night~~
The house is silent..no, not silent; there is the hum of the overhead fan, the whirr of the computer encased in it's tower, the the faint melody of the seahorse chime on the front porch. I am a fashion nightmare, combining blue socks with my thriftshop men's plaid cotton pajama bottoms, and my favorite stars and moon flannel pj top. I love the snaps on men's pajamas, they are fun to unsnap, and i love the softness of the flannel top. Besides, i couldn't find the match to either.
I went to the circus tonight. My boss invited me, and with a gallic shrug, i thought, "why not?" My life right now IS a circus, so, i went.
I was struck by the americana of it all, half ashamed at the glitter and hype, yet awed by the daring stunts and dedication of the performers. Nostaglia painted it all in soft-edged colors, sitting on my father's lap at 5, frightened of the clowns and loving the trapeze artists( i thought they were angels practicing on earth), going as a young bride of 22 and wickedly licking the cotton candy, taking my boys at 2 and 6, holding them on MY lap, a tradition continued.
I let go, and let the child in me win. I forgot my boss, my kids, my ex, and my dad. I was just 5, still frightened of the clowns, but happy to ohhh and ahhhh and wiggle in my seat and clap and watch, openmouthed.
It all brings me back to a spiritual truth that has been attaching itself to me like velcro lately. Don't wait to live. Enjoy the feast of today, because tomorrow will just not be the same, ever. Later.