Monday Morning~~
As i write this, snow is falling like a cape over the peninsula. It is Michigan cold, truly a marvel to me, because just a few days ago i spotted a golden dandelion in the grass. How could this be? this melding of the seasons? Perhaps mother nature gets as confused as i, sometimes.
There are birds on the feeder on the backporch railing, pretty brown ones, that look like high-fashion sparrows with exotic white stripes. A year or so ago, i was infatuated by primary colors and stars, and Rikk painted the plain, dollar store feeder in a very patriotic red,white and blue. I can remember watching him as he painted. His hands are beautiful,with long, tapered fingers and a sturdy, square palm. Where am i going with this thought? Nowhere, i suppose...just missing his hand in mine.
I can't remember the last time i had a day off where i wasn't committed to be somewhere, or do something. Today is my day; today i will harbor my heart, nourish my soul. (thank you for the advise, twin). Today is for writing and painting my toenails pink, today is for making a big pot of soup and some homemade bread,today is for snuggling under my quilt in a little ball and daydreaming, as i watch the snow fall. Later.
Monday, January 17, 2005
Friday, January 14, 2005
Friday Night~~
The house is silent..no, not silent; there is the hum of the overhead fan, the whirr of the computer encased in it's tower, the the faint melody of the seahorse chime on the front porch. I am a fashion nightmare, combining blue socks with my thriftshop men's plaid cotton pajama bottoms, and my favorite stars and moon flannel pj top. I love the snaps on men's pajamas, they are fun to unsnap, and i love the softness of the flannel top. Besides, i couldn't find the match to either.
I went to the circus tonight. My boss invited me, and with a gallic shrug, i thought, "why not?" My life right now IS a circus, so, i went.
I was struck by the americana of it all, half ashamed at the glitter and hype, yet awed by the daring stunts and dedication of the performers. Nostaglia painted it all in soft-edged colors, sitting on my father's lap at 5, frightened of the clowns and loving the trapeze artists( i thought they were angels practicing on earth), going as a young bride of 22 and wickedly licking the cotton candy, taking my boys at 2 and 6, holding them on MY lap, a tradition continued.
I let go, and let the child in me win. I forgot my boss, my kids, my ex, and my dad. I was just 5, still frightened of the clowns, but happy to ohhh and ahhhh and wiggle in my seat and clap and watch, openmouthed.
It all brings me back to a spiritual truth that has been attaching itself to me like velcro lately. Don't wait to live. Enjoy the feast of today, because tomorrow will just not be the same, ever. Later.
The house is silent..no, not silent; there is the hum of the overhead fan, the whirr of the computer encased in it's tower, the the faint melody of the seahorse chime on the front porch. I am a fashion nightmare, combining blue socks with my thriftshop men's plaid cotton pajama bottoms, and my favorite stars and moon flannel pj top. I love the snaps on men's pajamas, they are fun to unsnap, and i love the softness of the flannel top. Besides, i couldn't find the match to either.
I went to the circus tonight. My boss invited me, and with a gallic shrug, i thought, "why not?" My life right now IS a circus, so, i went.
I was struck by the americana of it all, half ashamed at the glitter and hype, yet awed by the daring stunts and dedication of the performers. Nostaglia painted it all in soft-edged colors, sitting on my father's lap at 5, frightened of the clowns and loving the trapeze artists( i thought they were angels practicing on earth), going as a young bride of 22 and wickedly licking the cotton candy, taking my boys at 2 and 6, holding them on MY lap, a tradition continued.
I let go, and let the child in me win. I forgot my boss, my kids, my ex, and my dad. I was just 5, still frightened of the clowns, but happy to ohhh and ahhhh and wiggle in my seat and clap and watch, openmouthed.
It all brings me back to a spiritual truth that has been attaching itself to me like velcro lately. Don't wait to live. Enjoy the feast of today, because tomorrow will just not be the same, ever. Later.
Thursday, January 13, 2005
Thursday Morning~~
One month without writing here...can it be that long? It was my joy and routine to sit in my chair, every morning with my coffee and write, when i was back home in Michigan. I was a baby blogger then, absorbed in the sheer joy of expression.
As time went on and i made the move to maryland, i realized that people i know read my entries to capture my pulsepoint, and my joy was contaminated. But a writer must write; a painter must paint; and i have learned much these last months about survival, relationships, and choices.
I stopped a minute ago and stepped outside to see the bloom of pink in the morning sky. I am wearing my christmas gift from my youngest son, a wooly , limesherbert green robe, and i am barefoot in january. Barefoot in january, that in itself is a blessing. So is this blog.....later
One month without writing here...can it be that long? It was my joy and routine to sit in my chair, every morning with my coffee and write, when i was back home in Michigan. I was a baby blogger then, absorbed in the sheer joy of expression.
As time went on and i made the move to maryland, i realized that people i know read my entries to capture my pulsepoint, and my joy was contaminated. But a writer must write; a painter must paint; and i have learned much these last months about survival, relationships, and choices.
I stopped a minute ago and stepped outside to see the bloom of pink in the morning sky. I am wearing my christmas gift from my youngest son, a wooly , limesherbert green robe, and i am barefoot in january. Barefoot in january, that in itself is a blessing. So is this blog.....later
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