Spring is making it's way here with wild winds scrubbing the trees clean of dead branches and blowing away last year's crumbled leaves to reveal green daffodil shoots. Kneeling in the earth and feeling the soil through my fingers is God's chapel for me.

The first day of 2009 was a shocker. I lost my primary job when the business closed without warning. Did I mention they owed me a month's salary?

On January 12th I decided to once again participate in my my life and attempt the presence process. My 4 previous attempts crashed and burned by session 6.

This time I seem to have one thought burned into my forehead..."NO MATTER WHAT, breathe twice a day."

It's been quite unpleasant and quite glorious and I have no idea where I am going if anywhere at all.

Last week my landlord, who has really been patient with my late rent, asked me to pay in full or leave. I recognise that my lack of moolah is an emotional blockage and as these circumstances come up they are brought in love to help me integrate my childhood.

Happy about a possible eviction? Strange, I knew it wasn't to hurt me, but for my highest good. I looked around at all my stuff, walking from room to room, and mentally cleared it all out. Bunches of twitches and tears and aches bubbled up from the depths during my breathing exercises.

This week it turns out my tax return will cover the back rent with just enough left over to pay the accountant and my landlord is graciously willing to wait until it gets here.

I really don't think there are coincidences anymore.

Spring cleaning has a new meaning for me now.