Wednesday Morning~~
Before i opened my eyes this morning, i heard the redbird sing. The wind ruffled through the sheer white curtains in my bedroom, and i sat up, looking for my first glimpse of my totem bird since i have been in maryland. I heard her clearly, but couldnt see her.
Not yet. I haven't seen her yet. This concerns me, because i inhabit a world of secret signs and omens, that somehow overlap and fit into my everyday practicality.
I am fighting a war right now. It is a singular war, against depression and low self-esteem. It keeps me from writing, because i see my words as a whining, woe-is-me victim, instead of the poet-warrior i am meant to be.
So, today as i heard the redbird, and didn't see her, i DO take it as a sign..A sign that all will be well, even if i don't see it. I just have to work with what i have, keep exploring the area until it becomes familiar, find solace in the sea, and put on a happy face.
Today J. has a job interview at 12 noon, working for a Doggie-hotel. Can you believe it? A bed and breakfast for dogs. Last night we got out the papers for the Home Schooling program, and we will call on that today..or rather, HE will call, i will just be standing by.
I am faxing my resume to a local newspaper, looking for a classified salesperson...sounds interesting, so, why not? I am also going to get in touch with the District Mgr. of one the national drugstores i used to work at, it's decent, all year round employment, with good benefits. What does it matter, as long as i write my book in the meantime?
Off i go, to fight my war, to find beauty where i can, to keep active, to keep a smile on my face, and hope in my heart. Later.