Friday, July 09, 2004

Friday Early Evening~~
Do i really have the courage to leave this place? It is very beautiful, this magical little cottage. The blackberries on the side of the garage are ripening, and everywhere i look, i see beauty that i have planted, nur
tured,and patiently seen to fruition. Wouldn't it be wiser to stay safe? Safe in what i know, safe in the familiar? Work is horrible,and the winters destroy me,but...at least they are known dangers..right?
Besides, only three hours from Rikk, instead of 15..and,.aren't i too old to begin again? I have friends here, too..and I will miss Todd...
Sigh. it's no use. I do have the courage. I hear the call, the heart whisper,that's it's time for a new beginning. I can make magic anew. I can leave here, knowing that i did a good job., with my children, with this home, with the challenges at work that i have faced.
Time to go to the sea, to walk with the ponies on the beach, to go to the next chapter. I am still scared,, though.Later...

2 comments:

Amadeus said...

I'm really going to hate to see you leave that wonderful house you've turned into a home, a magical cottage with the blackberries growing on the side of the garage, the nurturing and breath of life you've given to all that grows in your garden. As you know, happiness is defined by who you are - not what you own. You said - "As long as my house is cozy, i'm happy." EXACTLY!!! I couldn't agree more, and I'm perfectly happy and cozy here in Redford with what I have. Life is good!

It sounds a little like you're trying to talk yourself into this move and I understand completely why you're doing that, and why you're scared. But in the end, I trust that your heart and your common sense will guide you to the right place - at the right time. A word of advice... don't make this move based on "emotion" or "feelings". They will change just like the weather in Michigan. I wish you nothing but happiness and contentment in the end, regardless of where you decide to call home. Take care.

Lisa said...

My Dear Amadeus,
I know nothing else but my feelings. They are my true barometer of what to do. They are the beef in my stew, the bones beneath my skin. That doesn't mean i don't know how to season them with common sense, experience, or a dash of logic. Maryland feels right, and it is the opportunity to live in semi-rural, beautiful surroundings, get closer to my family, and be warmer, even if just by a bit. Love to you for your comments...i really appreciate you.