Thursday afternoon~~
Brooklyn and I decided to target tomorrow as a better beach day. I don't think i will make the movie, and, i guess shamefully, i don't want to go to a movie alone. We independant women are supposed to cheerfully, purposefully, enjoy such pastimes..i think they have even written articles about it. Not me. I want to go to a dark movie theater with a lover, hold hands, get a sneaky kiss on the neck, or maybe a slow caress on my thigh...or go with a girlfriend, someone who is as comfortable as an old flannel nightgown,a fireplace, and a good book. Both exquisite pleasures, just different.
Right now i am plowing through the computer room, tackling the piles and piles of stuff, and finding little strings to my heart. Recipes for baked beans, spiritual stories tucked into folders, long forgotten bills paid, (and unpaid..uhoh!),photos of the kids, tucked into quickly scribbled recipes....I can't die, for at least another 50 years. It would be too much of a job to get rid of my "Stuff".
Justin, Todd....i write all these words, this entire blog, as a matter of fact., in an effort for you to know your momma...I am not just the one who loves you, no matter what...I am not just the one that says"NO!...I am not just the cook, maid, phycologist(damn, could never spell that word),keeper of all things familiar....I am a woman, with a heart and mind and soul that you just don't really know....It is too much to fathom now, but, believe me, someday you will ache and wonder and ponder..."what was she REALLY like?"
Well, this blog tells you...make your own assessments...
I am not planning to die or anything, though, just the fact that i am writing this makes me nervous...self-fulfilling prophesies and all....
Back to all my "stuff"...later