Monday, July 26, 2004

Monday Morning~~
What a crazy life. Last night i cried myself to sleep, thinking about J. I woke to a note,by the coffepot, from him. "Dear Mom, wake me up before you go to work, i love you and miss you and want to talk".I don't have time to write now, but the jeist of it all is that he is willing to give maryland a try. Off to work i go...later

1 comment:

Amadeus said...

Moving is a death experience. Old props, old friends, old ways of doing things are gone and the barrenness is overpowering. It is like a seed falling into the dark earth. It lies there covered and one doubts if resurrection will occur. It is like death. Instructions come with seedlings to be transplanted. The directions are detailed, specific-water well, separate roots of seedlings carefully, place in the prepared ground and water every day to minimize shock. There are no instructions for us as we attempt to relocate ourselves. We manage as best we can, yet our best is often frighteningly inadequate. We do not realise that moving, like death, produces grief. We are in shock, not understanding our pain. Maybe moving is scary, because we have covered ourselves and our inadequacies with the soil of familiarity. We are no longer aware of them, that is until we are uprooted. Then they come flooding back to haunt us. Fears and phobias like unwelcome guests fill the vacuum. Yet like plants we can't help growing. We take tentative steps to accommodate the change. Tentative offers of friendship are made, which begin the process of establishing our new root systems, establishing ourselves in our new location. As spring follows winter, so out of the devastation of a move can come hope. No longer bound by known ways, there is space to discover our hopes and dreams, longings and yearnings and gifts previously unexplored. Then out of barrenness and confusion of change, new growth slowly but surely does occur.