Saturday, July 10, 2004

Saturday Night~~
July 21,1969.A man walked on the moon, and i buried my mother. Two facts, both unfathomable,both terribly against the odds. The grownups, my grandmother, aunts, and uncles, sat at the dining room table. "I will take them all!" aunt patti said. "I will take Lisa!" said my rich aunt from Long Island. "I am not going!" said my oldest sister, Jan. They argued and talked, in stage whispers, as i sat invisible on the step, listening to every word. I heard them talk about money, and how much trouble we would be, and how hard it would be to take all three of us younger ones. Uncle Al had the legal rights. As my mom's oldest brother, she had given him guardianship of us all. Jan was 18, in love, and refused to be shipped from north jersey to Alabama.
What they didn't know was the promise i had made to my mother just weeks before. We were sitting in the dark, cuddled on the couch, talking into the night like the best friends we were. I asked the unspeakable question, filled with fears about her illness."what happens to us if you die?" She laughed and said she never would, but, just in case, "promise me, Lisa, you will take care of Andrea and George".I promised, and a great,dark loathing came over me..How selfish could i be, only thinking of myself, when she was so sick? "Of course i will, mommy" I promised..
As i sat on the steps those short weeks later, rocking and crying and holding myself tight., i knew i wasn't going to let ANYONE split us up. I had promised, and i would keep that promise.
I ran into the dining room, screaming. "STOP IT! STOP IT! JUST STOP IT!
You have to honor mommy's wishes. She wanted us kept together. The only one that can do that is Uncle Al." There was silence around the table. They knew i was right. There were no more arguments, just practical plans left to be done. And that was how i traveled that terrible road to alabama, one month later.

2 comments:

Amadeus said...

Even as an innocent, tender young babe, you were striving and fighting for what is right. "Out of the mouth of babes and sucklings hast thou ordained strength because of thine enemies, that thou mightest still the enemy and the avenger."(Psalms 8:2) Your strength, fortitude, and loyalty to do that which is right, would (does) make your mom very-very proud! My heart goes out to you on this 35th year of your mothers' passing.

Blap said...

im hugging you my fellow mermaid-across the miles-
xoxo