Sunday Morning~~
I love early morning writing time. Everyone else still asleep, the potent swirling of energies the boys create thankfully asleep, too. I missed Rikk so much last night. It was 8 oclock, and nobody was home but me. I wandered around restless, with an insane urge to eat and eat and eat. But all the bread in the world wouldn't have filled me, because what i really wanted was his arms around me. I realize it's a well worn self defense mechanism for me., to eat for emotional comfort, to fill myself up when i feel sad and empty. I did the next best thing, wrapped myself in my white down quilt, and got lost in a book with a sugur free fudgesickle. I am so glad i love to read. It has probably saved me from insanity all these years, through all the hard and harder times, because when i read i escape, i fly, i rest, until it's safe to return and try again. I fell asleep with my glasses down my nose, and my book in my hand. When i awoke, J and T. were standing over me, whispering wake up, mom....They wanted to give me the second half of my mother's day presents...
I closed my eyes and held out my hands, tingling like a child. What could they possibly give me that i didn't already have? How could they know what would make my heart sing?
But they did know, these men of mine. Two perfect agates, the size of my two fists together. Justin's was orange and fiery, Todd's blue and green..Both with one polished edge, the colors intense and glassy smooth. Did they know when they chose them that the colors reflected their personalities? One child of fire, my double Leo, one child of the sea, my pisces? Perhaps the best part was what they said..the true beauty of the agates was what was inside, just like me. I have to stop now. My heart is swelling, crowding my chest, and i finally feel full.Later..