ThursdayNite~~
I am gloomy again today, with so much on my plate that i have mental indigestion. I got the house cleaned, and cooked a pot roast and roasted a chicken, so i got the chores out of the way.
I had a very long talk with Rikk today, pretty rocky and tense. It seems like my life is slipping out of my control, and i hate that feeling. The reality is, NO ONE'S life is in control, we just strive for the illusion of it.
The outcome was good, though, because we can always talk our way through our upsets. He gentles me,quiets me, when my emotions are bursting, and i am very thankful for that.
I let go of all the rest of the stuff that i was planning on doing, and parked myself in front of the tv and watched old movies from the 40's most of the afternoon. Rare, very rare for me, but i got to cry at the old sentimental movies, and that is probably just what i needed.
I went red! Inbetween the tears and the post roast, i dyed my hair a rich auburn. It looks red inside the house, so i bet it's going to look like fire in the sunlight. Good. I need a boost right now.
Still losing weight, down 11lbs now. It isnt such a chore anymore, its just a choice. Maybe in a month i will be back to fighting weight again...hope so.
Talked to someone new about refinancing the house. I am instinctively liking this guy much better. I am glad i know a bit more about the process now, and what questions to ask. I will probably have his proposal tomorrow.
Have an appointment with the realtor next thursday. He is coming over and giving me instructions on what to do to the house to increase the profitability.I can work on that while i wait to see what happens with the maryland house. Either way it goes, it's going in a positive direction.
Tomorrow is bills, bills, bills, balance the check book...yukkkkk.
I will probably plant some more flowers and ride my bike, too, instead of more cleaning and organising. I need to do more happy things, fun things...because i feel like i am on an endless treadmill of work and more work, with little to show for it.
There i go, sliding back into moody blues, sigh...Well,tomorrow will be better......later.